How To Show Your Partner Validation and Understanding

Healthy communication is at the core of every strong relationship. It’s a two-way street, knowing how to treat your partner with respect and compassion while also being an active listener. 

But, beyond the basics of communication, it’s important to make sure your partner feels validated and understood whenever they share something with you. We all want that, and if you expect the same kind of understanding from the person you love, you have to be willing to show it to them. 

So, what can you do to show your partner validation and understanding? How can you let them know you’re there for them, especially when they’re struggling with thoughts or feelings they think no one else really gets? 

Know How to Listen

There’s a difference between hearing what your partner has to say and truly listening. If your partner has something to say, make sure you’re paying attention. Sit down and face them, and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by other things. 

As they speak, use both verbal and non-verbal cues to let them know you’re listening. Ask questions. Repeat things they’re saying to make sure you understand. Sometimes, simply showing someone that you’re truly listening can help them feel better about whatever they’re going through. 

Show Empathy

You don’t necessarily have to agree with what your partner is saying to be able to put yourself in their shoes. 

Showing empathy goes a long way in letting your partner know their feelings are valid. Try to see what they’re experiencing through their eyes. If you don’t understand or you’re having a hard time, tell them. Ask questions. Show interest. If it’s easier for you to walk a mile in their shoes, do what you can to normalize their feelings and let them know they aren’t alone. 

Tell your partner that you understand, even when you don’t agree. Let them know they have every right to feel the way they feel and don’t judge them for it. 

Use Physical Touch

Sometimes, words just aren’t enough. Ask your spouse if you can touch them, and offer a comforting presence without saying a thing. That could be something as simple as holding their hand, rubbing their back, or giving them a hug. Sometimes, that comfort is all a person needs to release their feelings and feel better about things. 

Offer a Helpful Solution

If your partner is coming to you with challenging or difficult feelings, it’s not always that they’re looking for you to “fix” things. However, when there is a viable solution, offer your help. Maybe they’re feeling hopeless and helpless, and they’re not sure what they can do to make their situation better. 

If you have a solution, offer it. Showing your support and taking actionable steps to help them through something will absolutely validate their feelings and let them know they matter to you. 

Work Through Validation and Understanding Together

Again, healthy communication is a key component when it comes to a strong relationship. If you feel like it’s an area where you and your partner tend to struggle, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. 

Working with a therapist on your own or as a couple can make it easier to get to the root of your communication issues. You’ll also learn the skills necessary to communicate more effectively, show more compassion and validation, and learn how to be empathetic to each other’s emotions and needs. 

If you’re interested in learning those skills on your own or with your partner, feel free to reach out and set up an appointment soon for couples therapy. Validation and understanding are crucial in a relationship, and it’s okay to need a bit of help getting there.